Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Every time you walk away or run away
You take a piece of me with you there
Oh it seems like I’m walking right to your door
With my hearts still resting, looking for something more
Are you ever going to see everything you mean to me?
I’m trying very hard to believe
Nothing feels right when I’m left here on my own
Left last night
It seemed like I waited too long
Are you going to ever see everything you mean to me?
I’m trying very hard to believe
Come back to me
You smile and you make my life complete
OKAY so this song is the absolute best song i've ever heard before. hmmm actually not really. it just ranks top in my song-to-listen-to list. SOMEONE, ANYONE who reads this go listen to it. its called
everytime by linkin hawks. yes, surprisingly, i heard it on gossips girl. No no, don't let your jaws drop in shock at this absurd statement of a guy watching gossip girl.
whoa, so now, its like less than a week away from o's and yes, i'm still blogging, slacking my entire time of at home. time to get out and get a life, i suppose. still, living in the fantasy world is a good escape from the harsh reality of life. sometimes, life is just too hard to contemplate and well, the fantasy world offers a good shelter from the full brunt that is about to come. pfft, forget about that good life, an entire stack of work is still waiting right by this very computer, reminding me over and over again about the need for me to get my ass off the com and start doing something productive. therefore me being such a good, trained student of MOE shall get of the com, at least try to, and start working hard.
ahhh the habit of ten years prevents me from working!!! but yes yes, i shall slowly trudge my way through the work. Check the obituaries soon. my face will finally appear on the newspaper. till then, i shall be holed up at home. RIGHT! time to work. such a mundane life:(
Thursday, October 15, 2009
When I fall in love it will be forever
Or Ill never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before its begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun
When I give my heart it will be completely
Or Ill never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.
AHAHA awesome song. yes yes, i'm back drearily to keep this blog alive.
today was awesome, heh, spent some time with my most most awesome best friend. AND i studied so much okay? like two and a half papers in a day. what a record. anyway, o's are like super super near, less than ten days away!!!
GOSH! why didn't anybody tell me! crap i am screwed luh. its sooooo close:( i need a miracle to happen!
okay okay. back to studying. i think i should post more tmr. then again, its only a maybe.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Should i or should i not post. a question i post every single time i go online. and this time, the right one prevailed. So here i am.
so there is nothing much to post about. i graduated on friday. so now its my study break(: how very awesome. sleep-ins and late nights(: but still its fifteen more days to o's and now, even i am kinda scared. i really want to get in to that jc. pffft.
SATURDAY
woke up really late, then studied a little bit before going to meet audrey. Apparently Eunice was sick so she couldn't go[which neither me or han believed]. During service, i had a good talk with sis esther before going back into the service and catch the finally part of the identity point. Despite it being only for a little while, it was real good. hey, you best friend, speaks to you ya?:D hope you payed attention instead of being so distracted like last week. had dinner with cell, but i played my PATAPON:D so didn't really talk to them. Sorry guys :/ went home with audrey again. thought about a lot of stuff on my way home. nice and quiet bus ride. i guess, as much as i want you to change[no, i don't mind you just the way you are actually], i have to change too. so ya, as hard as it is going to be, things will work out(: And it finally comes down to here. As promised to keller and then audrey, i'm doing my work. yes. so late at night, what a miracle eh? NOOO not slacking. i finished a paper one before posting okay!!
Insecurities are a scary thing. They grab your freedom to trust and really turns things sour for everyone, so yes you, sorry!
anyway, going back to study so i'll post another time.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Sometimes you just can't help but see thing the way they are even though you may know that somehow or another they are not. is it just me or am i thinking too much? what exactly are things between you guys?
-edit-
Its your will done here. I should stop doubting what happens when because when you plan it to be, it will come to pass. It kinda sucks how sometimes, things just doesn't seem to go your way and yet you really want it to go your way. You just feel oh so irritated, disturbed yet in that turmoil, in that moment or doubt and confusion. It cuts through, with words read, with feeling felt and faith that you struggle so hard to hold on too. you know that you should trust, have that faith. because its in the hard times when God is proved strong, when you see Him for who He really is and how He really is. An awesomely great and faithful God. Even if sometimes i doubt you, know that it'll pass. i'm going to start believing in you and You more. start, no continue trusting. for that breakthrough i know will come.
Monday, October 5, 2009
wow, i have been coming to this blog to post so often. not that bad eh?
sometimes do you have somethings seem to be just nothing but a figment of your imagination yet its so real, it seems so real that it feels like its coming to pass, that its happening right now.
do you have that instances when you just have flashbacks on the things that happened before something so similar to what you think its going on now, you're just so afraid that it might come to pass? and that no matter how much you try, its just so hard to trust that everything will be okay, sometimes, its just hard.
I'm going to trust. Trust that everything is going to turn out well
that in the midst of the storms and clouds, that hope will come peeking through them like the sunlight. slowly creeping behind all these doubt and insecurities, always there and revealing itself in its full glory when we finally clear the hindrances.
i hope it really happens.
so right now, i'm going to trust. one last time. prove me right please?
Labels: you are not alone?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
WALK ON WATER
You look around
It's staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder
What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there?
Will you hear my prayer?
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go
Chorus:
So what are you waiting for?
What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to alter you
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes in you
You can walk on the water too
Verse 2:
So get out
and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste
Don't wait
Don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for
I know you're not sure
So you play it safe
Try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go
(Chorus)
Bridge:
(Step Out)
Even when a storm hits
(Step Out)
Even when you're broken
(Step Out)
Even when your heart is telling you, telling you to give up
(Step Out)
When your hope is stolen
(Step Out)
You can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting for?
what am i waiting for? some miracle to happen? i don't know. i have to curb my insecurities. no, they aren't going to alter me
Insecurities abound again.
Is this the way you act all the time or is it just a facade you put up?
i never get the way you think, and sometimes, it just makes me wonder, am i what you say i am?
OOPS random much right?
bury deep deep the emotions
today was extreme. my mum at first didn't allow me to go to study with my AWESOME gay partner, han but at like after her service, she suddenly allowed me to go. OH OH something happened before that. hee:D remember that promise you make okay?
STUDYING WAS FUN:D stupid han made me wait for so long all the time. so next time if anybody ever ask him out, make sure you tell him the time fifteen minutes earlier. so then we sat down at swirl and started studying. so after a while, this girl sat right at the bench outside swirl. so somehow or another, me and han kept talking about her. and like I said the girl was looking at me. since han is han, he kept saying that she isn't. BUT it was proven wrong. he looked once and yes! that girl was looking at me-.- MUAHAHA. so i dared him to wink at the girl for an ice cream then he kept acting big saying he'll do it. BUT YOU DIDN"T HAN! hahaha. SUCKER:D
God, He has been great i guess. now that i am making that effort to u-turn back, he has been helping me, making everything so much easier. telling me, affirming me with things i once knew but forgotten or never accepted. during worship, with the multiple thing occupying my mind, silently and quietly almost as if he isn't there
'don't worry about the what is because I am the I am'
and i won't worry about the what is, or what is supposed to be. because if God want things to turn out this way, i'm sure there is a perfectly fine reason which our human mind cannot comprehend behind the whole thing. so i'm going to trust. not her, not them but you. Knowing things will turn out perfectly fine with you behind the wheels.
